But I don't think Sarah's point was that her female characters have problems talking to other characters. On the contrary, they tend to be somewhat frustrated at the reluctance of her male characters to just say what they're thinking.
When she says her women "won't talk to her", I think she means that she has trouble imagining their thought processes, at least in a way that is fun to write. Felix and Mildmay (especially) both tend to bottle up their feelings, but Sarah has no trouble imagining what those feelings are, and so she can reveal them in the interior monologues. If you are having problems imagining what a female character would say, do or feel, it isn't any easier to write a dark corner soliloquy than it is to write a conversation.
(Yes, she did describe a scene where she is having trouble writing a dialog between two female characters, but I got the impression that it was more that she had trouble imagining what the two characters would each be feeling that was interesting enough to write about, than that she had trouble making them express those feelings aloud to other characters.)
Sarah,
You obviously enjoy showing the contrast between a character's internal voice and the way they present themselves to others. And you're very good at it. It's one of the things that make your stories fun to read. But I suspect it is part of what is contributing to your preference for male narrators.
Feeling compelled to hide one's self-doubts, having a self-perception that is more vulnerable than one's public persona, is more of a male trait than a female one. Women are more likely to verbalize their insecurity than attempt to hide it behind a facade; they're more likely to try to draw one another out than to retreat into shells. Personalities like those of Mildmay or Felix would not work very well as female characters, because while women can certainly be catty like Felix or insecure like Mildmay, both types are still likely to have more consistency between their internal and external voices. Felix says things that are harsher than what he feels. A woman who says catty things is likely to be thinking catty thoughts as well. The only kind of women who tend to hide what they're feeling are ones who are doing it to be manipulative, deceptive, or to conform to fluttery feminine stereotypes. They're strategically disguising their strengths or motives, not bottling up their fears. (And you said you can write Medea.) So if you like writing first-person narratives where the character's sympathetic side is seen more by the reader than by the other characters, then either your women characters won't play along, or if you force them to, they come across as rather masculine personalities.
The way out of this impass is probably to find more ways to introduce zest and flavor into a first-person narrative other than having such a contrast between what a character thinks and what they reveal. Can you have a woman say what she thinks, and still have it be a voice that's entertaining to read? Maybe by having the color come from spunk, sass, irreverance instead of from suppressed angst?
Who were the female narrators on your favorites list? What kinds of personalities do they have? In what styles are their stories told? I bet if you concentrate on analyzing what makes them fun to read, you'll find some clues to making them easier to write.
(I like Asha Greyjoy in George R. R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire.)
Re: I'm not really a writer
But I don't think Sarah's point was that her female characters have problems talking to other characters. On the contrary, they tend to be somewhat frustrated at the reluctance of her male characters to just say what they're thinking.
When she says her women "won't talk to her", I think she means that she has trouble imagining their thought processes, at least in a way that is fun to write. Felix and Mildmay (especially) both tend to bottle up their feelings, but Sarah has no trouble imagining what those feelings are, and so she can reveal them in the interior monologues. If you are having problems imagining what a female character would say, do or feel, it isn't any easier to write a dark corner soliloquy than it is to write a conversation.
(Yes, she did describe a scene where she is having trouble writing a dialog between two female characters, but I got the impression that it was more that she had trouble imagining what the two characters would each be feeling that was interesting enough to write about, than that she had trouble making them express those feelings aloud to other characters.)
Sarah,
You obviously enjoy showing the contrast between a character's internal voice and the way they present themselves to others. And you're very good at it. It's one of the things that make your stories fun to read. But I suspect it is part of what is contributing to your preference for male narrators.
Feeling compelled to hide one's self-doubts, having a self-perception that is more vulnerable than one's public persona, is more of a male trait than a female one. Women are more likely to verbalize their insecurity than attempt to hide it behind a facade; they're more likely to try to draw one another out than to retreat into shells. Personalities like those of Mildmay or Felix would not work very well as female characters, because while women can certainly be catty like Felix or insecure like Mildmay, both types are still likely to have more consistency between their internal and external voices. Felix says things that are harsher than what he feels. A woman who says catty things is likely to be thinking catty thoughts as well. The only kind of women who tend to hide what they're feeling are ones who are doing it to be manipulative, deceptive, or to conform to fluttery feminine stereotypes. They're strategically disguising their strengths or motives, not bottling up their fears. (And you said you can write Medea.) So if you like writing first-person narratives where the character's sympathetic side is seen more by the reader than by the other characters, then either your women characters won't play along, or if you force them to, they come across as rather masculine personalities.
The way out of this impass is probably to find more ways to introduce zest and flavor into a first-person narrative other than having such a contrast between what a character thinks and what they reveal. Can you have a woman say what she thinks, and still have it be a voice that's entertaining to read? Maybe by having the color come from spunk, sass, irreverance instead of from suppressed angst?
Who were the female narrators on your favorites list? What kinds of personalities do they have? In what styles are their stories told? I bet if you concentrate on analyzing what makes them fun to read, you'll find some clues to making them easier to write.
(I like Asha Greyjoy in George R. R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire.)