I'll probably get skewered for saying this, but as a woman who does a lot of work with men AND women on repression of various kinds (I do a form of therapy work that involves uncovering repressed issues/emotions), I have to say I found this movie interested more in terms of the kind of emotions/feelings that PEOPLE repress. I can see how most would view this as "male-only" territory, and it's true that it was written from this standpoint, but as a martial artist (again...I'm a woman) and someone who found I had a lot of repressed aggression once I took up martial arts (not hatred, not anger...just aggression and a want to engage it physically), I actually found this movie an interesting meditation on the total lack of outlets for these feelings in a modern society.
I think a lot of people confuse violence/hate/anger with aggression. I see nothing wrong with aggression if it is dealt with in a clean way and doesn't hurt anyone...it becomes anger/hate/whathaveyou when it is consistently repressed over and over again and judged. It's similar to how sex used to be viewed (and still is by a lot of radical christians). I hate to say it, but a lot of men DO feel held back in this regard, and a lot of them DO blame women (which is silly of course, but often goes into the whole mother issues thing and stereotypes about women repressing men's masculinity, etc). Most of the "nice guys" just feel guilty for feeling this way and repress it. It's only the "a**holes/misogynists" who say it out loud, (trust me, I've have heaps of "nice guys" in sessions who explode into anger/frustration about these issues). To just dismiss this as 'misogyny' is missing the point. This blaming of an entire gender category for our anger/woes/feelings of powerlessness is a part of sexual politics on *both* sides and something that must be outgrown on the individual level before it can be overcome by entire groups.
Granted, fight club was a really violent way to deal with these feelings, but I think the observation that many people feel they are living with the volume turned down is not an illusion, and pretending that's not the case (or that it's only the case for *men*) isn't going to help anyone. I have referred clients to martial arts for this reason and it often does them wonders...makes them more happy, less angry and less violent.
In martial arts, some of the meanest, most violent and ANGRY partners I've had in sparring were women. I don't blame them for this...it was almost always because they had so much pent up aggression, anger and violence that they kind of freaked out once they got in the ring. But some of these women scared the crap out of me...like they wanted to kill their partners, not just fight in a friendly/aggressive way. Over time, they relaxed, lost some of their fear/anger and had more fun. The point is, repressing this stuff just doesn't work. Telling little boys that it's bad to get angry/aggressive is just as bad as the centuries and centuries where we told little girls the same thing. Calling these impulses 'inherently male' or 'inherently misogynistic' only worsens the problem.
And for the record, I thought Marla held her own. She doesn't have to be able to beat the guy in a fist fight to be strong. Frankly I am tired to death of "feeling sorry for" women. To me, a big victory would be no longer valuing the moral high ground over our own personal power.
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momijizukamori
not to be a jerk, but...
Date: 2006-11-15 07:42 pm (UTC)I think a lot of people confuse violence/hate/anger with aggression. I see nothing wrong with aggression if it is dealt with in a clean way and doesn't hurt anyone...it becomes anger/hate/whathaveyou when it is consistently repressed over and over again and judged. It's similar to how sex used to be viewed (and still is by a lot of radical christians). I hate to say it, but a lot of men DO feel held back in this regard, and a lot of them DO blame women (which is silly of course, but often goes into the whole mother issues thing and stereotypes about women repressing men's masculinity, etc). Most of the "nice guys" just feel guilty for feeling this way and repress it. It's only the "a**holes/misogynists" who say it out loud, (trust me, I've have heaps of "nice guys" in sessions who explode into anger/frustration about these issues). To just dismiss this as 'misogyny' is missing the point. This blaming of an entire gender category for our anger/woes/feelings of powerlessness is a part of sexual politics on *both* sides and something that must be outgrown on the individual level before it can be overcome by entire groups.
Granted, fight club was a really violent way to deal with these feelings, but I think the observation that many people feel they are living with the volume turned down is not an illusion, and pretending that's not the case (or that it's only the case for *men*) isn't going to help anyone. I have referred clients to martial arts for this reason and it often does them wonders...makes them more happy, less angry and less violent.
In martial arts, some of the meanest, most violent and ANGRY partners I've had in sparring were women. I don't blame them for this...it was almost always because they had so much pent up aggression, anger and violence that they kind of freaked out once they got in the ring. But some of these women scared the crap out of me...like they wanted to kill their partners, not just fight in a friendly/aggressive way. Over time, they relaxed, lost some of their fear/anger and had more fun. The point is, repressing this stuff just doesn't work. Telling little boys that it's bad to get angry/aggressive is just as bad as the centuries and centuries where we told little girls the same thing. Calling these impulses 'inherently male' or 'inherently misogynistic' only worsens the problem.
And for the record, I thought Marla held her own. She doesn't have to be able to beat the guy in a fist fight to be strong. Frankly I am tired to death of "feeling sorry for" women. To me, a big victory would be no longer valuing the moral high ground over our own personal power.