i simply had to comment on one of the questions here...
Q: Did you do any research on various forms of mood disorders and mental illness for this work?
That. That was another question i meant to ask and for whatever reason never did. i've found that books typically resonate the most with me based on how much of my own 'real time' experience i can see mirrored in the book. Pretty typical stuff, really.
i've mentioned before that i'm a nearly lifelong submissive, though i did dabble with switching a time or three. Like Felix, though, i learned that i could not handle the power and/or keep control, so i have since stayed happily ensconced on the right side of the slash.
i relate to Felix so well, and it's not just because of the D/s element. i, too, had my share of mental "adventures" and saw a great deal of that echoed in Felix throughout the course of the series. Add on his "lessons learned" - accepting that the past is the past, knowing you have to move forward, don't punish others for your own mistakes, etc. and there is so much there i totally "get."
Then there's the Malkar/Felix dynamic including nonconsensual activity, enforced addiction to phoenix, the love/hate quandary, and living in perpetual fear. i had a significant other (who was really more like an Owner/Handler) for a lonnnnnng time. i met Him when i'd just become addicted to cocaine and meth and He happily kept me supplied so that i'd be that much more compliant and biddable. i loved Him and hated Him alternately. So much that after awhile, the line blurred and i no longer recognised (or cared) that there even WAS a difference. Through mental and physical control (including using my addiction against me in every way possible), He pretty much ensured that i wasn't going anywhere.
When i decided to quit cold turkey, it entailed leaving Him and everything i'd come to know as familiar (if not always pleasant). It took a long damn time for me to be sure that the break would hold, and i spent a good 5 - 6 years constantly looking over my shoulder, expecing to find Him. About the third time i read Melusine i got hit between the eyes with just how horribly wrong it all was, and how closely it echoed my own experiences. i had one of the most cathartic cries of my life as i realised just how far i've come from the broken shell that i'd been.
This got a lot longer than i'd intended but i felt i had to say "thank you" one more time for writing such a lush and beautiful series, and explain why it was such a moving experience for me to discover it.
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momijizukamori
no subject
Date: 2009-05-04 06:18 pm (UTC)Q: Did you do any research on various forms of mood disorders and mental illness for this work?
That. That was another question i meant to ask and for whatever reason never did. i've found that books typically resonate the most with me based on how much of my own 'real time' experience i can see mirrored in the book. Pretty typical stuff, really.
i've mentioned before that i'm a nearly lifelong submissive, though i did dabble with switching a time or three. Like Felix, though, i learned that i could not handle the power and/or keep control, so i have since stayed happily ensconced on the right side of the slash.
i relate to Felix so well, and it's not just because of the D/s element. i, too, had my share of mental "adventures" and saw a great deal of that echoed in Felix throughout the course of the series. Add on his "lessons learned" - accepting that the past is the past, knowing you have to move forward, don't punish others for your own mistakes, etc. and there is so much there i totally "get."
Then there's the Malkar/Felix dynamic including nonconsensual activity, enforced addiction to phoenix, the love/hate quandary, and living in perpetual fear. i had a significant other (who was really more like an Owner/Handler) for a lonnnnnng time. i met Him when i'd just become addicted to cocaine and meth and He happily kept me supplied so that i'd be that much more compliant and biddable. i loved Him and hated Him alternately. So much that after awhile, the line blurred and i no longer recognised (or cared) that there even WAS a difference. Through mental and physical control (including using my addiction against me in every way possible), He pretty much ensured that i wasn't going anywhere.
When i decided to quit cold turkey, it entailed leaving Him and everything i'd come to know as familiar (if not always pleasant). It took a long damn time for me to be sure that the break would hold, and i spent a good 5 - 6 years constantly looking over my shoulder, expecing to find Him. About the third time i read Melusine i got hit between the eyes with just how horribly wrong it all was, and how closely it echoed my own experiences. i had one of the most cathartic cries of my life as i realised just how far i've come from the broken shell that i'd been.
This got a lot longer than i'd intended but i felt i had to say "thank you" one more time for writing such a lush and beautiful series, and explain why it was such a moving experience for me to discover it.