Underfoot Cat is ingenious, but not always very plausible.

[truepenny]

ME: Underfoot Cat, what have you done with my glasses?
UNDERFOOT CAT: What makes you think it was me?
ME: Well, there's only the three of us in the house, and it wasn't me and it wasn't Catzilla.
U.C.: How do you know there's only three of us in the house? You could have gremlins! Poltergeists! A secret cat!
ME: No, I couldn't. Besides which, you were sitting beside them on the counter just before they disappeared.
U.C.: That's nothing but circum . . . circumstitial . . .
ME: Circumstantial.
U.C.: I knew that. Circumstantial evidence. Doesn't prove a thing.
ME: And yet, here are my glasses, under the bathtub, and there are you, the only creature in the house who could have knocked them there.
U.C.: Um. I plead the Fifth?
ME: Even if you had Constitutional rights--which you don't--that wouldn't be one of them.
U.C.: All right! All right! I confess! I did it! I did it! I repent!
ME: . . . Your repentance looks an awful lot like rolling around on the floor and picking a fight with the bath mat. And losing.
U.C.: 'S not my fault if interpretive dance is the best of my limited options for communication.
ME: [giving up] Yes, let's both just pretend that's what that was. Try to remember that my glasses are not a toy.
U.C.: You say that about everything. [exits grumbling] It was all the Secret Cat's fault anyway.
ME: [after him] We don't have a secret cat!

Comments

[incandescent.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha. CATS. ♥

[fidelioscabinet.livejournal.com]

Underfoot Cat reminds me why I hate claw-foot tubs.

[heresluck]

Hey, at least you *found* the glasses.

(A secret cat would explain a lot, though.)

[cissa.livejournal.com]

Ah, cats.

[marsidotes.livejournal.com]

Recently I took off my two amethyst rings and left them on the kitchen table. Not just the rings. . . mind you, but there were other things on the table so I never thought. . . they would fall off... what I really mean is fall prey to my predators. . . my three lunatic kitties. One of my beautiful rings is missing and I can't think to blame anyone other than one or more of these kitties. We've searched in vain so far, and far and wide is where it could be. Can't vacuum with any vigor until we find it. My wedding ring is missing too. . . I need a crystal ball to help me out.