No plan survives first contact with the enemy.

[truepenny]

So, the book is broken.

This comes as a surprise to no one. The book is always broken.

Fortunately, I have ideas about how to mend the book, and maybe even turn it from a cargo cult plane into a real one that flies and everything.

I am not foolish enough to believe this will be easy. For many reasons, but the one that's currently kicking my ass is the fact that I cannot and never have been able to hold all of this book in my head at once. It has too much plot with too many fiddly bits. (I'm very fond of the fiddly bits, actually, but they make it difficult to do things like, you know, make a useful outline.) And when I need to do some radical rewiring, the fact that this book is like an ultra-elaborate Victorian dollhouse with all the gingerbread and tiny beautiful furniture and intricately carved staircase and real wallpaper on the walls ... well, let's just say it doesn't help.

Still, some of the new ideas (and a doff of the hat and courtly bow to matociquala who is at least half responsible for coming up with them) are very shiny, and I am excited about them. I am just feeling more trepid than otherwise about the process of implementing them.

Comments

[catvalente.livejournal.com]

*laughs*

I walked out of my office this very evening and said very loudly:

"The book is broken!"

So this cracks me up, in solidarity.

[matociquala.livejournal.com]

They're all broken.

Fuckers.

I think it's because writing is still too hard to do well.

[desperance.livejournal.com]

It is always; it always has been. The books are always broken, and we put our weight on them, and fall through; and have nothing to fall upon except Sam Beckett: "Try again. Fail again. Fail better."

It gets harder, too, which seems unfair. If writing is a craft, which I have always averred, then with practice & diligence should come mastery, or at least facility; but every year I write less and suffer more. And the work is observably different, but I'm not at all sure that it's stronger. It still breaks apart under pressure. Bit like me, really. Which is apt, if all fiction is an act of autobiography. At the moment, I'm thinking of it in terms of self-mutilation and open wounds...

[matociquala.livejournal.com]

I've had the same experience. They keep getting harder to write.

I think they're getting better, or at least other people seem to like them more... but knowing more about writing seems to translate into having more balls to juggle at once, rather than the juggling of the same three balls getting easier.

And I can't seem to limit myself to the three balls even when I try.

[truepenny.livejournal.com]

Well, you know, you laugh or you cry. And I'd rather laugh, when I can.

Also, I'm almost ridiculously relieved to know I'm not alone.

[catvalente.livejournal.com]

Never alone. :)

[matociquala.livejournal.com]

I have faith in you. Because while it is currently broken, it is also a nest of cool.

[oracne.livejournal.com]

Having ideas is of the good.

[desperance.livejournal.com]

'Specially when they're very shiny. And - oh, you know this, but you mend books the way you make them, the way you make anything, the way you take a journey: one page, one nail, one step at a time. It's only trepidacious before you start; the first step is actually no more demanding than any of the others. And you don't listen to the old fart who sucks air through his teeth and shakes his head portentously and mumbles "Ooh, it all gets harder, you know, just keeps on getting harder, uphill all the way..."

(I should point out that I just twenty minutes ago finished 'The Virtu', and I love Mildmay to shreds & rags, tho' I guess that's not uncommon, and the whole two-book treat is like dancing amid the shards of the Virtu: formal and physical and delightful and threatening and painful and sticky and... Well, you get the picture. It's a strong and confident achievement, and does not leave me in any doubt about 'The Mirador', or your ability to fix whatever might be broken.

[desperance.livejournal.com]

PS - close bracket )

[truepenny.livejournal.com]

Thank you! (she says, blushing).

And, yes. Can't do everything at once, but I can do one thing at a time.