the subject line of today's spam

[truepenny]

fill your bedroom with fire once and

And?

Comments

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

You'll never need to tidy it again ?

[kelliem.livejournal.com]

...run away quickly.

...get out the marshmallows!

[hominysnark.livejournal.com]

For all!

[themadblonde]

feel cold ever after?

[nestra.livejournal.com]

...regret it for the rest of your life.

[fidelioscabinet.livejournal.com]

--watch your homeowners' insurance get cancelled like that.

[heartofdavid.livejournal.com]

...you'll understand why it isn't wise to sleep with dragons.

[d-aulnoy.livejournal.com]

you'll *never* be rid of the salamanders.

[saltypepper.livejournal.com]

...call it a day.

[scottakennedy.livejournal.com]

... and then we can talk about getting a new mattress.

[achariya.livejournal.com]

...Then invest in our warming gel?

Heh.

[hackerguitar.livejournal.com]

preserve the embers as long as you can.

[the-glow-worm.livejournal.com]

...make sure not to let him out.

[jerusha.livejournal.com]

...you'll never have to wash that set of sheets again?

...you'll never get the soot off the walls?

...you'll really miss the books that were on your nightstand?

...you'll never see your damage deposit again, that's for sure.

...make new friends at the local burn ward!

[lachatdelarue.livejournal.com]

... you'll realize your blind mother is more gullible than you thought?
(true story from my boss!)

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

... shame on you. Fill your bedroom with fire TWICE ...

[sasha-feather.livejournal.com]

Fill your bedroom with fire ONCE and get guilt-tripped about it FOREVER. Sheesh.

[truepenny.livejournal.com]

That was mine, pretty much.

Fill your bedroom with fire once and you never live it down.

Yours is, of course, worded more nicely.

[sasha-feather.livejournal.com]

This is a very fun game.

[mariness.livejournal.com]

that does take care of that pesky need for making the bed...

[mariness.livejournal.com]

...deal with attorneys claiming that by burning your bedroom and thus creating reenactments of historical periods where witches were burned, you have caused distinct "psychic trauma" to modern witches and indeed the entire Wiccan movement, so, along with getting the damn smoke out of your house, you will also end up fighting endless court cases and in the end settling with the attorneys and sending them piles of money, not one cent of which will make it to a witch.

That, or completely fail to summon a dragon. Whichever.

[(Anonymous)]

...and baste your husband well every fifteen minutes.

Zaf

[sam-t.livejournal.com]

...and you'll be warm for life?

[mevincula.livejournal.com]

combine thoroughly. Add water as needed.

[alevai.livejournal.com]

...cackle.

Fire

[(Anonymous)]

And your wife will never let you cook unsupervised again. (True story)

MKeaton

[elbales]

. . . . Egad. I cannot think of a good way to end that. *fails*

Hullo; reader from the SF Bay Area here. I just finished The Mirador, noticed that your bio has you working on a fourth book, and squeed.

[(Anonymous)]

...repeat until the affliction has been tamed, even if this requires a wrath of flames so intense that the walls blacken and the ceiling pocks and curves under the fumes. Within the debris, look for a single glass eye of piercing green. It may be glazed or broken by the heat. If you find it, grind it into flakes and throw it to the wind. If you do not find it, no that there is worse than fire.
jv

[(Anonymous)]

...know that there is worse than fire...

arggh
jv