Life in the great suburban outback is fraught with peril.

[truepenny]

Things learned while gardening today:

1. I'm a much better gardener if you give me a task. "Go out and garden" does nothing for me. "Go out and slaughter all the grape vines you can reach" does.

2. If you have an Anthropophagous Rosebush, you let the grape vines co-habitate with it at your peril.

3. ZOMG! We have BERRIES! Blackberries, I think, but my woodsy lore is so stunted and vestigial that they might as easily be the rare and deadly cyanideberry for all I know. (No, we will not be eating them unless we get a positive ID.) They are also co-habitating with the Anthropophagous Rosebush, which explains why I have lived in this house for five years without knowing they're there. One leafy aggressive thing with thorns is much like another to me, unless one of them is actually, you know, fruiting.

4. I need better gardening gloves. Or possibly gauntlets.

5. The only thing that can be said in praise of Virginia creeper is that it is not as macho as the grape vines.

---

Update on the Cerise Bouquet climbers, for any rosaphiles who care: both bushes seem to have survived the trauma of being planted. One of them died back quite a bit, but it has surviving branches (is branch the right word?), the largest of which happens to be the branch which has found the trellis. The other bush seems to be doing fine. So a round of applause for my rose bushes, please. They're making the best of a bad lot.

ETA: I am charmed to discover, by following links from the HelpMeFind.com page, that the nursery founded (in 1906) by the man who created the Cerise Bouquet is (a.) in Schleswig-Holstein, (b.) still in operation, and (c.) on the web (German-language only, despite the splash page being in English, but the pictures are lovely).

::is great big sparkly geek::

Comments

[liminalia.livejournal.com]

I'd be happy to ID your berries if you post a pic. But fwiw, I know of no poisonous berry at all that looks like a blackberry. If it's got the typical multiple-drupe bumpiness, it's edible. There are are tons of members of the genus Rubus and they're all safe, although some are tastier than others.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubus

[truepenny.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[batwrangler.livejournal.com]

:applauds:

I occasionally try growing roses. So far not very successfully. I believe rose branches are commonly referred to as canes.

[truepenny.livejournal.com]

I thought so, too, but then I wasn't sure.

[davidlevine]

If those berries are indeed blackberries, it's best to whack them back early and often. They will take over quite quickly and are a pain to eradicate. The berries can be delicious, though.

[truepenny.livejournal.com]

It's already a little late. They and the Anthropophagous Rosebush and the grape vines have pwned that corner of the backyard.

I am going to start pruning--and keep pruning--but I seriously need better gloves first.

[mastadge.livejournal.com]

Don't you just love the way grapevine grows those massive subterranean trunks that are IMPOSSIBLE to uproot?

And one thing that can be said in favor of the grapevine is that poison ivy really stands out against it, which is slightly less the case with, say, Virginia creeper.

[luiloth.livejournal.com]

Last year my husband planted my tomatoes in with the roses.
Gathering food shouldn't *hurt*!

(This year he bought the upside down tomato plants.)

[georgiamagnolia.livejournal.com]

so what you are saying is that you live in Sleeping Beauty's castle complete with hungry flora? that is pretty much full of berriful win, I think!

[boxofdelights]

(is branch the right word?)

Cane.

They're making the best of a bad lot.

Heh.

[girlpunksamurai.livejournal.com]

Fruit is just spontaneously growing in your yard?

Sheesh-bad luck though it might be because they're near your roses, my patch of sadness isn't even fit for weeds, let alone edibles. I actually have a fair to middling green thumb. I tried planting garlic in one of the flower beds once to derail a few of the insects that love eating plants to death.

Chive like sprouts came out of the ground, I watered and attended carefully. then sprouts turned brown and died. I wouldn't plant trees in that sadness-talk about an act of cruelty >.>

+2 Gauntlets of Thorn Resistance

[(Anonymous)]

Industrial supply companies (McMaster-Carr and the like) have some seriously heavy-duty gloves that aren't bad for gardening, though they do get sweaty. The steel-reinforced gloves look like the crossbreed of linesman's gloves and chain mail - just the thing for thorns.

I feel your pain.

[aakepley.livejournal.com]

I inherited eight feet of six foot high roses, so I feel your pain. These gloves are quite good: http://amzn.com/B001GBLQGO . They're flexible enough to work in, but heavy enough to prevent sticking. i also find a hat to be helpful. (Although after the thorn in nose incident I'm considering a face mask as well.)

[cynaravurzyn.livejournal.com]

While I've not seen your rubus, I expect it is a black raspberry, as these are more common than blackberries in Wisconsin. I like to use a stick to knock off the thorns from pruned canes to use as garden path fencing. When they're semi fresh they'll take a good curve.