firsts

[truepenny]

Since Sunday: 1. First broken bone 2. First time 911 has been called on my behalf 3. First ambulance ride 4. First time in a cast 5. First crutches 6. First major surgery 7. First nerve block 8. First oxygen tube 9. First use of bedpan 10. First sestina. Apparently, being stoned on Tylenol 3 makes blank verse easy.

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I'm on oxycodone now and still pretty stoned, so I can't write you a coherent post about my surgery, but I can offer you some bits and pieces.

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First of all, it went well. mirrorthaw said the surgeon said everything went pretty much exactly as expected, which is always good. They didn't have to put in a screw to hold the two sides of my ankle together, which means I won't have to go back for them to take that screw out again. Also, the bone chip out of the back of my ankle that was small enough they weren't going to worry about it apparently came right back into line with the rest of the joint. Which is also good.

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The nerve block is definitely the patient's friend. They say 12-18 hours to wear off; mine took more like 24-30.

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I don't want to be a guy, but I do occasionally wish for male plumbing.

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Oxycodone also gives me the weird sort of dreams that I get with a fever, the kind where it's like I'm listening to a series of conversations in the next room all night long. WEIRD conversations.

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I am covered in gray adhesive residue, particularly my left hand and forearm where the IV was.

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I have the best husband in the world. And I don't think the moon has better husbands, either.

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So, crutches. I discovered Tuesday morning, because I was staring at them (either in the bathroom or because I was being wheeled about the hospital, and the fact that I can't choose between those two contexts tells you something about the merry hell oxycodone wreaks with my short-term memory), that my crutches were set to 5'6". I'm 5'5" if I stand up very straight, and I know I said so to the ER nurse because that conversation I actually remember. However. There we were on 5'6". The pre-op nurses very kindly reset them to the correct height, which made a huge difference. ("Weren't you uncomfortable?" they said. "Well, yeah, but I thought I was supposed to be.") Then the physical therapist who came around yesterday and taught me how to go up and down stairs (in an alternate methodology to the old reliable scoot-on-your-butt technique, I mean) readjusted the crutch height and the handhold height, and voila! I wouldn't say they're comfortable exactly, but they're really not bad.

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The physical therapist was also very impressed with my upper body strength. Another first: the first time I've ever been called a powerhouse.

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And the meter has run out on my ability to form coherent sentences. Thank you, everybody, for your kind thoughts and good wishes. Very much appreciated.

Comments

[cmpriest.livejournal.com]

Holy cow, and bless your heart!

[matociquala.livejournal.com]

You work hard for that upper body strength.

And after six weeks on crutches, you will have forearms like the Gube. *g*

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

But her thighs will be different sizes!

(Best of luck, truepenny. Heal up soon. Sending good thoughts your way.)

[stotangirl.livejournal.com]

I was on oxycodone after knee surgery a few years ago, so that all sounds very familiar. Plus, I was reading Joyce Carol Oates (not that I could really focus, but for some stoned reason I had to read something), which added an additional level of off-kilter to the whole thing.

I hope you heal well and quickly!

[casacorona.livejournal.com]

Oh, poor you. I'm glad the surgery went well.

I hate and despise crutches. Could have something to do with the arthritis in my shoulders. Give me a walker any day of the week. I'm glad they're working for you!

[arkessian.livejournal.com]

Yes, crutch height matters a *lot*. When I broke my ankle, they weren't adjustable and I'm 5'1" (if I try hard)!

And yes, male plumbing has some advantages.

[coalboy.livejournal.com]

Also female (despite my nom) and agreeing that male plumbing is useful in a patient setting.

Heal, bones!

Glad it's going well!

[(Anonymous)]

I'm so glad the surgery went as well as possible and that you're doing okay! I'm sending you nice healing thoughts!

the grrly grrl

[amy34.livejournal.com]

I have a similar reactin to oxycodone. I take it sometimes for severe migraines, and it gives me such weird, disturbing dreams that I won't take it at night.

Drink as much water as you can swallow!

[dakiwiboid.livejournal.com]

Opiate suck rocks through a sieve, and water helps with the side effects. Do everything the Physical Tort-- I mean, Therapist says, and you'll feel much better soon! Not having screws in your bones is fantastic, too! You're a great prospect for healing up well as long as you really do stay off it as long as they stay, eat your yummies, and rest, rest, rest until it's time to exercise, exercise, exercise! Don't reproach yourself for clumsiness, because it doesn't help. I look at the wrist I broke years ago, and I blame the wet floor and not myself. That grassy slope was out to get you. So there.

Sleep well and heal well, and may you feel better soon!

[coffeeem.livejournal.com]

Hurrah, hurrah! I'm glad the surgery went well, and glad you're back. Thank you for the update. And ah, yes, oxycodone, thy name is effective. Well, actually, thy name is oxycodone, but you know what I mean.

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

Ouch, ouch! Heal fast, plz. And yay, upper body strength. With crutches, you will be Strong Like Bull.

I'm hypersensitive to opiates, so it's a crapshoot to see if I can take enough to kill the pain before I throw up. Apparently this is true of my mother as well, which sucked after her heart surgery. Fortunately, have not broken any bones yet. :/

[mamculuna.livejournal.com]

Glad you've come through it all so far. Hopes for swift healing!

Crutches--how nice that they're teaching you to use them. I just got handed a pair with not even so much as an instruction sheet. I decided that stairs were beyond me, and since I had to use crutches for only 3 weeks before getting boot, decided to go with the sitting down and bumping method for stairs. Not PT approved, I'm sure, but my bone-break occurred on stairs, so I was leerier than most.

[pixelfish.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear about this. (I broke my leg when I was 17 and went through about all but two of these in one fell blow as well.)

I do have to mention that you PROBABLY would not wish for male plumbing if you'd had to have a catheter. Because the nurse tried consoling me with the fact that at least I was a girl.

[libskrat]

You may or may not wish for male plumbing if you have a kidney stone. I understand that we female types are more likely to pass 'em, BUT the gizmo they give you to try to catch it in is ROUND. Hello, whut?

truepenny, plz to tell mirrorthaw that I would be happy to take him out to lunch if he's ever at the east end of campus. Anything else I can do, LJ knows my email.

[pixel39.livejournal.com]

Huzzah!

If you know anyone who uses depilatory "wax" strips (like Nair or Sally Hansen or any of the other brands) the blue liquid in the bottle they give you "Azulene" is *really* good at removing adhesive residue.

[larryhammer]

Oo, sestina! *covets*

Glad to hear you are doing as well as can be expected.

---L.

[jenavira.livejournal.com]

I am so jealous of your nerve block experience; mine wore off about four hours after I got out of surgery and I was in agony for two days. (My mom, who'd come up to take care of me in the aftermath, said it was like a crack house -- four people lying around a tiny two-bedroom apartment, sleeping whenever they could, making runs for new drugs at all hours of the night...)

[icecreamempress.livejournal.com]

If you can't get your hands on any of the magical stuff recommended above, nail polish remover will also do a fine job on the adhesive residue; just be sure to wash it off with cool water and a very mild soap right away.

Best wishes for a comfortable and quick-as-possible recovery!

Good for you! And your spouse!

[warriorofworry.livejournal.com]

Very glad your surgery went well and cyborg parts not necessary. (Not a dis of internal metal strutwork - but glad you won't need to have second surgery.)
Follow your PT - think of it as masochism for the ages. Or for when you're aged. Really.
Heal well!! Are you sharing the sestina?

[fireun.livejournal.com]

*hugs!* wishing you a quick recovery!

[ashnistrike.livejournal.com]

I wish you swift and comfortable healing. And more sestinas.

[hawkwing-lb.livejournal.com]

Heal quickly and well!

[swan-tower.livejournal.com]

You mean this broken sestina I tried to write could be made better if I just took some weapons-grade painkillers? Sweet. I've been wondering how to fix it. :-)

On a more serious note, it's always a relief to hear the surgery went without a hitch. Definitely chug lots of water, and I promise that after six weeks on crutches, your mobility will be a lot greater than it looks like right now; I remember one incident near the end of my own time where I crutched something like half a mile across desert floor to go see a pretty view. (While still having a valid handicapped permit on the car, no less, though I'm not sure we bothered to use it anymore.)

Fingers crossed for a continued smooth recovery. Enjoy the drugs!

[naamah-darling.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Oh, dear. I hope you recover very soon. That sounds most unpleasant.

[scottakennedy.livejournal.com]

Here's wishing you a speedy recovery!

[hominysnark.livejournal.com]

I'm so relieved everything went well. Good healing!

[marykaykare.livejournal.com]

Owie! Hope things go well & healing proceeds apace. I have 2 crutch related tips. As you become more mobile, the backpack is your friend. No matter how mobile you become, crutches & strapless evening gowns do NOT play well together. This is the voice of experience. (It was a really cool strapless gown made from Hawaiian print fabric too.)

MKK

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

I just caught up with this. I am so very very sorry and wish you a quick recovery that is as un-annoying as is possible. Yes, opioids give you Kafka dreams, although alas they have never given me Kubla Khan. A sestina sounds like an excellent start, though.

[tekalynn.livejournal.com]

Get well soon.

When I twisted my ankle, I had crutches, but found them so problematic that I limped around campus *carrying* them, rather than actually use them. This raised some eyebrows.

[thecoughlin.livejournal.com]

Doh. Sorry so many virginal experiences went out the window in such a way but it sounds like (largely) the best of a bad situation....

Thinking healing-type pain-free thoughts your way.

[avocadovpx.livejournal.com]

>> First sestina. Apparently, being stoned on Tylenol 3 makes blank verse easy.

This deserves to be filked, but with laudanum, an appropriate verse form (Manley Hopkins's curtal sonnet, anyone?), and the tune to "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off."

[oracne.livejournal.com]

I'm glad it went well!

...now you can write about all sorts of things relating to broken bones!

[smills47.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. Oh ow! This is not the kind of news one wants to hear. Best wishes for a speedy recovery, and don't stint on the painkillers. Sometimes having an endoskeleton sucks.

[crookedfeet.livejournal.com]

So glad the surgery went well, and am also glad they did not need to put screws in your ankle.

[pennski.livejournal.com]

Take care, take it steady and look after yourself!