Ha bloody ha.

[truepenny]

I hate April Fool's jokes--I think because I'm so freaking gullible that I always fall for them and then feel crushingly stupid. I handed someone I like his head on a platter a couple years ago over an April Fool's joke, and I still feel bad about that, because it was a lovely and well-thought out spoof. The moral of the story is, do not tease the Mole, for she has no sense of humor.

It appears, however, that my body did not get this memo, for I just made an appointment to go see the nurse practitioner who installed the Mirena IUD for me back in November. Because I'm afraid the damn thing's gone AWOL.

There is a thread, you see, which hangs from the Mirena, through the cervix, and into the vagina, where the Mirena-user can reach up with a finger and feel it. And indeed, that thread has been there, readily tangible, every time I've checked . . . until yesterday, when it was not there at all. I gave it a day, because, you know, the first rule of any malfunction is Wait And Try Again, but upon recheck, no, no mistake, the thread is still not there.*

My hope, of course, is that it's just coiled up upon itself somehow and is lurking coyly along my cervix, but I'm not real sanguine about that hypothesis--and in any event, it is not something I can test for myself. So next Friday I get to go in and be poked at. You may imagine my glee.

And I'm sure the meat thinks it's being very funny.

---
*The other day upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today;
I wish that man would go away!

Comments

[slimequeen.livejournal.com]

I went in for urgent laporascopic surgery after an x-ray showed the Mirena outside the uterus. After an hour of surgery, my doctor had to give up because she couldn't find it. A few weeks later (while I was still recovering) I underwent a CT scan that showed the device is embedded in a muscle. We're just leaving it as is, and if I get pregnant again I'll have a cesarean and get two things removed at once. :\ Good news is that I've never had any pain other than the surgery itself.