Plus and minus

[truepenny]

Plus: New bread pans! One of my old ones has gone from non-stick to stick, so it was clearly time. And these are very pretty. And red! I'm very curious to find out what the loaves they produce are like.

Minus: I've figured out why I'm not getting any writing done. It's because every time I go to work on something, some part of my brain says, quietly but very emphatically, This is a stupid story.

Now, rationally, I know that's not true. The stories I'm trying to work on right now are neither more nor less stupid than any of the forty-some stories I've published--which is to say: No, they aren't stupid. But knowing that and feeling it are two different things. I'm not quite sure how to deal with this, because it's a really neat piece of self-sabotage: not only does it make working on stories seem pointless, but it makes asking anyone else for help seem equally pointless. What can they do except tell you it's stupid?

I suspect this is partly fallout from having Ace dump me last year--and although Tor was very careful and kind and explicit about the fact that they love my writing and want to publish me, it still hurts like a son-of-a-bitch to know that my career is so fucked up that the only way to do it is to give up my name. I know that it's not a judgment on me as a person, or on me as a writer, but I can't help the fact that it feels like one. And that, in turn, makes it hard to have any confidence in my stories.

So, yeah. If anybody needs me, I'll be over here fainting in coils.

Comments

Warning: Unsolicited Pep Talk

[inizitu.livejournal.com]

Dear Sarah's Brain-

DUDE. She has FANS. Of her writing. And you are interfering with us getting our fix, so knock it off, so we can get the next book.

Love,
Sarah's Fan's

=)

More seriously: My brain does the same damn thing, pretty much whenever I try to do anything. My brain can't be reasoned with either.

It sucks. I'm sorry. Does it help to know a nosy internet stranger/slavering fangirl has faith that you'll get through it?

Or, maybe thinking about Kate Elliot will help?

Anyway, I wanted to say something, because I both empathize and sympathize. Plus, I rather selfishly want to read whatever you come up with next. =)

Good luck to you!

Re: Warning: Unsolicited Pep Talk

[glinda-w.livejournal.com]

Or, maybe thinking about Kate Elliot will help?

Was that a similar thing, unable to sell under her real name? (Alis Rasmussen, right?)

There's also Robin Hobb (Megan Lindholm) (who will be here (well, at the UW)) reading & signing in a couple of weeks. The book I most want signed? Wizard of the Pigeons.

And seconding the memo to your brain, that there are fans here wanting to read what you write!

Re: Warning: Unsolicited Pep Talk

[inizitu.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Kate Elliot went on to sell like hotcakes under her pen name. Which, from the look of the bookstore shelves, is also true of Robin Hobb/Megan Lindholm.

I was hoping that would be encouraging. I find it encouraging. =)

Re: Warning: Unsolicited Pep Talk

[theladymoon.livejournal.com]

(Briefly, for lack of anything more interesting or wise to say) I second that